Beautiful Losers

I remember staring into the picture that captivated me. It seemed timeless at a moment. It seemed I was in another dimension that time didn't exist. I was facisnated by the vivid images I saw. The mountains were still, not moving an inch and they seemed to be staring right back at me. The big brown mountains did nothing, not a single thing except look colorful and amazing. The sun was quite something I have never seen before. I usually hate the sun. But Goddam, that day the sun was not doing a single thing but shine it's fluorescent light at the atmospheric sky. It always amazed me how something so beautiful was yet so far away from my grasp. It wasn't depressing or anything of that sort but it was quite interesting. It's like I always wanted to find out more and more. The kid that wants nothing but the whole world on his tiny palm. That's the thing about me, I'm quite depressing at a first glance. Short, messy, rarely smiling and never paying any kind of attention. Wandering off in my own little world, filled with delusions of dreams and ambitions. You see most phonies out there are the ones who show their quote on quote happiness. Enjoying their seize-less moments, creating illusions that their life is great, becoming more and more fake each and every day. So obviously that's what you would think happiness is. I say no. It's just quote on quote fake happiness everyone seems to enjoy. Nobody's truly happy. Either most people are stressed out and worrying about some, quote on quote, important problems in their, quote one quote, important lives or they're just assholes never caring about the meaning of their life. Happiness is something sacred and should be preserved for the ones who actually deserve it. Happiness is somewhere deep down in you, waiting to be free at any given moment. It's a forsaken key to a timeless treasure chest that you've been on the search for your whole life. It's something that you are dying to have once you are so close to its possession. It even drives you crazy and ends you up being more deluded than you were before. Happiness isn't for the phonies out there not caring about their life or anybody's lives. Thinking they're hot new thing around town. Happiness is for the ones who have been broken-down by society and have been driven out of extinction. The melancholic beautiful losers not the phony nerds and sexy beasts. It's meant for the ones with low confidence, low self esteem, and for the ones who truly try in life. Not to the fakes that get handed everything to them. That's how I see it. They don't know true happiness. They only know some demented socialable happiness that it's quite depressing and disgusting. They weren't taught to struggle and they didn't experience any kind of struggles along the way. I may have not struggled as much but I've struggled either way. But I goddam wasn't handed everything to me and I took what I can get. It wasn't much but it's something to grab a firm grip of reality. I saw many people that I love and care about struggle through what we call life. We're the ones who deserve happiness. We are the ones, who in the end, will find peace within our sorrow selves. We are the beautiful losers the rest is industrialized. And the ones manipulating them are the phonies. Holden Caulfield has taught something. Something near-dear to my sorrowful heart, that I will forever keep in my wretched soul. Something that will get out my labyrinth of suffering. To never be fake, never be a phony. Be miserable and feel sorrow for yourself but it will all work out out sooner or later. It isn't justice or the ying-yang where everything is balanced. It's something that we, human beings, can not comprehend since we have natural emotions, desires and greeds. But once we over-look it. We'll be sitting on a surface, watching the sun set or watching the sun rise, and we will be the beautiful losers catching happiness in the rye.